Abolishing Death Do You Part: The Radical Doctrine of Eternal Marriage
When some Pharisees asked Jesus about divorce,
“he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder” (Matthew 19:4-6).
In Ephesians 5, Paul taught that Jesus’ love, sacrifice, and effort for the church showed men and women how to sanctify their marriages, “That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish” (Ephesians 5:26).
Til Death Do You Part-An Excruciatingly Brief History
Marriage, in the first millennia after Christ after the martyrdom of the Apostles, continued to be a correlated relationship between husband and wife in a joint relationship to God, but not necessarily bound by particular marriage vows by specific authority.
After his conversion to Christianity, Constantine formalized and regulated Christian customs, including conferring authority to the Roman Catholic church to perform marriages. This precedence continued until reformers like Luther and Calvin agreed that marriage belonged in the realm of government, rather than governance by the Catholic church. Calvin wrote legislation calculated to reduce the church’s jurisdiction, and “counter political laxness in marriage law or the popular license in marriage life that prevailed in mid-sixteenth-century Geneva.”
Calvin’s early theology of marriage, he had argued, was an institution of the earthly kingdom alone—“a good and holy ordinance of God, just like farming, building, cobbling, and barbering.” Christians should participate in the institution—not to be justified or sanctified, but to keep themselves free from the sins of lust and incontinence.
“The divine mandate [in Paradise] was that the husband was to look up in reverence to God, the woman would be a faithful assistant to him, and both with one consent would cultivate a holy, friendly, and peaceful intercourse.” This created subordination of the wife to the husband was exacerbated by the fall into sin, Calvin believed. “The woman had previously been subject to her husband, but that was a liberal and gentle subjection. Now she is cast into servitude to man” (John Witt, From Sacrament to Contract: Marriage, Religion, and Law in the Western Tradition, Westminster John Knox Press, 1997, pgs 94, 96).
While Calvin’s theology of marriage focused more on the covenant aspect of marriage, the effects of his earliest marriage reform efforts made the greater impact.
The Sealing Power
Sealing, from the Encyclopedia of Mormonism:
Signets and seals have been used from early antiquity to certify authority. The word “seal” appears many times in the scriptures. Jesus Christ was “sealed” by God the Father (John 6:27), and Paul reminded ancient Saints that God had anointed and sealed them (2 Corinthians 1:21-22) and told others they “were sealed with that Holy Spirit of promise, which is the earnest [assurance] of our inheritance until the redemption” (Ephesians 1:13-14). John spoke of the servants of God being sealed in their foreheads (Revelation 7:3). In the apocryphal Acts of Thomas (verse 131), Thomas prayed that he and his wife and daughter “May receive the seal” and “become servants of the true God.” Even today licenses, diplomas, legal documents, and the like bear seals that officially attest to their authenticity.
For Latter-day Saints, the ultimate sealing power is the priesthood power given to authorized servants of the Lord to perform certain acts on earth and have them recognized (sealed) or validated in heaven. They believe it is this authority the Lord Jesus Christ described when he said to Peter, “I will give unto thee the keys of the kingdom of heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven” (Mattew 16:19).
On April 6, 1838, the prophet Elijah restored the sealing power to the earth again.
“Behold, the time has fully come, which was spoken of by the mouth of Malachi—testifying that he [Elijah] should be sent, before the great and dreadful day of the Lord come—To turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the children to the fathers, lest the whole earth be smitten with a curse—Therefore, the keys of this dispensation are committed into your hands; and by this ye may know that the great and dreadful day of the Lord is near, even at the doors (Doctrine and Covenants 110:14-16).
Sealing power revolutionarily redefined the concept of ordinances, specifically marriage.
The Lord defined His concept of marriage in Doctrine and Covenants 132, a revelation recorded July 12, 1843.
- Marriage matters to God
- Marriage must be performed by correct authority and in the proper place to be binding
- Men and women are equal before God
- Marriage between a man and woman is a covenant between them and Him
- Marriage and family relationships continue after death
- An eternal marriage characterizes His life and brings ultimate joy
“Therefore, if a man marry him a wife in the world, and he marry her not by me nor by my word, and he covenant with her so long as he is in the world and she with him, their covenant and marriage are not of force when they are dead, and when they are out of the world; therefore, they are not bound by any law when they are out of the world.
“Therefore, when they are out of the world they neither marry nor are given in marriage; but are appointed angels in heaven, which angels are ministering servants, to minister for those who are worthy of a far more, and an exceeding, and an eternal weight of glory.
“For these angels did not abide my law; therefore, they cannot be enlarged, but remain separately and singly, without exaltation, in their saved condition, to all eternity; and from henceforth are angels of God forever and ever.
“And again, verily I say unto you, if a man marry a wife, and make a covenant with her for time and for all eternity, if that is not by me or by my word, which is my law, and is not sealed by the Holy Spirit of promise, through him whom I have anointed and appointed unto this power, then it is not valid neither of force when they are out of the world, because they are not joined by me, saith the Lord, neither by my word; when they are out of the world it cannot be received there, because the angels and the gods are appointed there, by whom they cannot pass; they cannot, therefore, inherit my glory; for my house is a house of order, saith the Lord God.
“And again, verily I say unto you, if a man marry a wife by my word, which is my law, and by the new and everlasting covenant, and it is sealed unto them by the Holy Spirit of promise, by him who is anointed, unto whom I have appointed this power and the keys of this priesthood; and it shall be said unto them—Ye shall come forth in the first resurrection; and if it be after the first resurrection, in the next resurrection; and shall inherit thrones, kingdoms, principalities, and powers, dominions, all heights and depths—then shall it be written in the Lamb’s Book of Life … and if ye abide in my covenant…it shall be done unto them in all things…in time, and through all eternity; and shall be of full force when they are out of the world; and they shall pass by the angels, and the gods, which are set there, to their exaltation and glory in all things, as hath been sealed upon their heads, which glory shall be a fulness and a continuation of the seeds forever and ever” (Doctrine & Covenants 132:15-19).
Overjoyed with new understanding, beleaguered Saints built the Nauvoo Temple to enable their participation God’s promised blessings that their families could be united throughout eternity.
For Time and All Eternity
To understand this ‘end’, we should begin at the beginning.
Before Adam and Eve ever entered the Garden of Eden, or even before the world was formed, we lived with our Heavenly Parents. Through a process of creation that I don’t quite understand, our spirit/souls were created – with personalities, gender, and especially our divine characteristic of Choice – We lived in Heaven before coming to earth. God taught us-His children-we grew—all of us…billions of souls.
We wanted to be like Him, but we could not – yet. His experiences were so beyond the realm of our existence. Yet, like any mortal father, His greatest joy and desire was that we could gain experience and have joy and become like Him.
During the great council in Heaven, Father presented a glorious plan whereby an earth would be prepared, and we would come to that earth, clothing our spirits with bodies of flesh and blood, learn of Him, choose. He is perfect, pure and has said that no unclean thing can dwell in His presence. He knew we would sometimes make poor choices and the eternal law of Justice would negate our ability to return to Him, so He prepared the most glorious Way.
The Savior Jesus Christ agreed to break the bands of sin and death – to atone for all of our sins, the sins of others to us, as well as our grief, fears, burdens, sorrows, if we will choose to repent of those sins. Others rejected the plan, objecting to the notion that through choice, we could choose to “fail” to return to God and ultimately desiring His honor for themselves. The book of Revelation records this event as war in heaven where Michael and his angels fought against the dragon-Satan-and Satan & his angels were cast down to the earth.
God introduced Adam and Eve into the Garden of Eden as the first married couple on this earth. Father gave two seemingly opposite commandments – though one of utmost importance – to multiply and replenish the earth and the other to not partake of the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil.
I love how already in the story, the Father obviates the need for the Son – commandments enable us to see God’s standard and the paramount need for a Savior who can reconcile us with God. So, the couple realizes that without a Fall, they cannot keep the first commandment, so they partake of the fruit, complete the Fall to mortality—flesh and blood–and are able to bear children and teach them of the Father’s plan of happiness and the commandments & ordinances necessary to return to Him.
And they also died. When we die our body is buried in the earth until the resurrection, but our immortal spirit, goes to the Spirit World – another sphere near the earth – to await the Savior’s triumphant Second Coming and our resurrection and final judgment. The Savior referred to this place to the thief on the cross.
Peter wrote of a vision where he saw the Savior’s spirit, while His body was in the tomb, going to the Spirit world and preaching to those who had been disobedient. How many people have lived and died without ever hearing the Gospel of Jesus Christ?
And yet, God in His infinite Justice and Mercy prepares a way for all to learn of Christ and accept Him and the ordinances necessary for Salvation. The Savior organized the hosts of the righteous to continue preaching to those who had not had not heard the Gospel, and still that work continues.
Celestial, Terrestrial, and Telestial Glory
Jesus Christ’s Atonement –the most important event of our eternity – overcame all of the effects of the Fall, and of course enabled the possibilities of Resurrection! The scriptures speak of two types – Immortality and Eternal Life. Immortality is to be saved from the awful grasp of death and hell and be resurrected. All men and women who have been born in this life will be resurrected. Eternal Life is to be saved from the awful grasp of death and hell, to be resurrected and to live eternally in the presence of God. Paul specifically teaches of one glory Celestial, one glory Terrestrial, one glory Telestial (sun, moon, stars.) The scriptures testify that all will recognize Jesus is the Savior, but some people still will not accept Him and repent of their sins (Telestial). Some will accept Him as their Savior, but not choose to follow the ordinances He commanded (Terrestrial). Some, have had great knowledge of Jesus Christ, but “crucified Him unto themselves & put Him to an open shame.” These become the sons of Perdition forever to dwell in the lake of fire and brimstone. Lucifer and his angels who originally rejected Jesus Christ during the war in Heaven are also in this group of damned souls– however, they will not be resurrected because they never received a body at all. (Eternal damnation – no glory). The final group gains Eternal Life and are those whose faith and works are consistent with the principles and ordinances of the Gospel of Christ, who are valiant in their testimonies of Him (Celestial).
God covenanted with Abraham that if he were righteous, He would establish a new and everlasting covenant with him—promising eternal life, Priesthood, numberless posterity, & land. Jacob seals blessings on the heads of his sons before he dies – some relating to their posterity. Malachi declared that the hearts of the fathers must be sealed to their children and the children to their fathers or the whole world would be cursed—the whole purpose of the earth wasted. Jesus promised His Apostles that what they sealed on earth would be sealed in heaven. Elijah sealed the heavens from rain. Jeremiah sealed prophesies about the destruction of the House of Israel. There are so many examples of how the sealing power of heaven functions on earth. One of the most important ways to participate is by fulfilling ordinances given by God to man—ie baptism, the confirmation of the Gift of the Holy Ghost, Sacrament, washing and anointing, marriage—throughout the ages, consistently, with great promise. These ‘acts’ are mortal acts. They have to be done in the earthly sphere. If righteousness is maintained by works and through faith on the Savior’s Grace, the ordinance is sealed on earth. And bound. And eternal.
Good News and Free Will
So what of those who didn’t hear the Good News while on earth? The Savior’s vicarious act of ransoming us teaches us the way we can benefit others – not in the magnitude of ransoming sin of course – but that the eternal principles to which God adheres is merciful and just and fair to all of His children. While teaching about the resurrection, Paul exclaimed, “Else what shall they do which are baptized for the dead if the dead rise not at all? Why are they then baptized for the dead?” The Savior established His Holy House, the Temple, as the authorized place for ordinances necessary for salvation to be performed on behalf of those who died without hearing the Gospel while living on the earth. Genealogies are traced and a living person takes the name (one by one) of someone who has died and performs the ordinances for them-on his or her behalf. Does this negate the deceased’s free will? Absolutely not! The spirit man or woman can decline the work, as stated before, but everyone will be given the opportunity to accept or reject. The Savior taught that there will be so much work to do to ensure that every person has the opportunity to accept or reject that a Millennium will be necessary after His Second Coming to finish the work before the resurrection & final judgment. Once when the Sadducees and Pharisees were arguing about whether there be a resurrection, the Sadducees asked Jesus to which husband a woman who was married to man who died and then given to each of his brothers would marry in the resurrection. Of course, these men didn’t believe in a resurrection at all anyway, but Jesus provides critical evidence that after the resurrection, these ordinances are not performed. Everything must be done before the resurrection.
However, marriage is not eternal unless 1-performed by proper authority/Priesthood, 2-performed in the proper place, 3-the covenant (the couple & God) is upheld with pure fidelity and righteousness. This sealing is only efficacious for those who obtain the Celestial Kingdom and receive Eternal Life. If one is not sealed in marriage, one cannot enter the highest realm of the Celestial Kingdom.
“In the celestial glory there are three heavens or degrees; And in order to obtain the highest, a man must enter into this order of the priesthood [meaning the new and everlasting covenant of marriage]; And if does not, he cannot obtain it. He may enter into the other, but that is the end of his kingdom; he cannot have an increase.” (Doctrine & Covenants 130:1-4).
So, in the highest degree of the Celestial Kingdom, families created on this earth continue with husband sealed to wife, after the example of our Heavenly Parents.
The sole desire of my heart is to be exalted – to live with God forever. The majority of my life’s intent has been spent in seeking, finding, understanding and applying spiritual truths through the Spirit of God. I know I am His child. I know He has a plan for His children. Because of that plan, especially the Grace of Jesus Christ, I act with faith and repent of my sins, and strive to magnify the covenants I have made with God. Marrying Anthony in the Temple was, for me, the single most important decision I have ever made – the culminating decision of a life time of decisions. But, the journey didn’t end at the temple doors. We believe in an eternity together. And in that, I truly have joy!