10 “Unexpected” Ways Mormon Dads Spend Time

Time is a valuable commodity to Mormons. UtahValley360.com gave a rundown on ways Latter-day Saints spend their time, including the expectation of daily personal and family prayer and scripture study, weekly 3 hour church attendance, family home evening, time spent in callings, home and visiting teaching, and temple attendance.

As I read the article, I realized that it didn’t consider the time it takes to simply have a family!  Mormons believe that families are the most basic unit of God’s plan of happiness, and an important responsibility. Families with children require great sacrifices of time.

We all have some expectation of time constraints and squeezes before having a family, but, when children come, some of those expectations are blown out of the water.

My brothers and brothers-in-law are great fathers who spend quality time with their children and have a fun, realistic approach to parenthood. I called them to see if any aspect of fatherhood resulted in unanticipated ways they now spend their time.  Um. Yeah.

10 “Unexpected” Ways Mormon Dads Spend Time

1. Mac ‘n Cheese

I spend a lot more time eating macaroni and cheese instead of other things (that taste better.)

Spend a lot more time than I expected finding food the kids will eat.

Waiting at the table for the kids to actually eat their food takes longer than I thought it would.

Grocery shopping takes forever.

2. Driving

I had no idea how much time I would spend on the road hauling kids from one activity to the next. My wife is hauling the other half of the family around today.

I spend a lot of time in the car.

[When I called them, half of the men were driving their kids to and from their sporting events.]

3. Kid Activities

I play with Barbies now.

Seems like I’m always looking up PG-13 movie reviews.

Lots of time spent talking and explaining things to the kids – sports, how an engine works, what they did at girls camp, magic tricks, birthday party planning, Gospel questions.

I spend more time than I expected just sitting and playing with or going for walks with my son.

Didn’t think I would ever enjoy the church Primary program as much as I do.

4. Vacations

Vacationing with kids is one thing I didn’t comprehend.  Vacationing with kids is not relaxing. You work hard to have really good memories with and for the kids.  There’s no sitting on the beach reading a book, because you probably ought to watch your kids at the beach.  Even taking a vacation with my wife is a lot of work in coordinating babysitters, instructions, food, activities, etc. to leave for the kids so we can leave for a few days.

Most of our vacations revolve around Disneyland.

5. Sick Kids

I never expected how much time I would spend hanging out with kids when they’re sick. Right now even, I’m with A___ who has a sore throat.

When the kids cry or are hurt, they come to me for snuggle time and to make them feel better…that feels pretty cool, as a dad.

Learning to meet the needs of our daughter with a neurodevelopmental disorder has changed the way we do things as a family and refocused us on what is really important. She is such a blessing to our home.

6. Bed, Bath, and …

Bath time takes longer than I expected.

Bed time takes a lot longer than I thought it would—I don’t remember me taking a long time to put to bed, but it takes way longer for my kids to go to bed. It goes on and on every night.

Potty training takes a long time, well depending on the kid.

Cleaning the house is a non-stop event.

Getting ready for church is…well…sometimes a time consuming challenge.

7. Other People’s Kids

I never expected to spend so much time at mutual nights.  There hasn’t hardly been a week in my married life (18 years) where I haven’t been at a weekday activity.

A neighbor kid can come over and I don’t even notice.

8. Weekends

Weekends have a huge to do list.

I thought when I was an adult, I would have time on Saturday to do stuff I like to do. Instead, every Saturday I’m spending 4 hours getting sunburned watching soccer games instead of getting sunburned at the lake or playing golf. But, actually when I travel for work, I miss going to their games and seeing them play.

9. Freedom

I remember how flexible and really free we were.  Now we are definitely tied to a nap schedule or bedtime.

When I come home from work, first thing I want to do is sit on the couch and veg for a second, but I can’t do that because the kids are jumping all over me and my wife has been home all day with them and wants a little bit of a break herself. Then, on the flip side of that, they are beaming when I get home from work and so excited to see me, and I love that.

It’s not my time, it’s their time.

10. Being a Parent

We spend a lot of time trying to figure out how to parent each kid. I heard people say that kids are different from each other and I have really come to see that.  Each child needs a different perspective and parenting style to help them grow (and behave). It takes time and prayer to figure out.

I love watching the personalities of the kids develop. I love it when they come up and tell jokes when they’re 3 years old. They’re so fun.

It took me a while to realize that I needed to just stop and listen when the kids wanted to talk to me. I felt like a yo-yo sometimes when trying to multi-task while “listening” to them.  They could tell I wasn’t really paying attention and would keep clamoring for my attention. When I did actually pay attention, usually the interaction was quick and they were gone, or they’d just settle in happily next to me, and we’d have a great time together working on stuff that needed to be done around the house.

Can you relate or have other time consuming experiences?  Share in the comments below.