The New Swear Words

Picture the scene: You’re in an ordinary family ward sacrament meeting. The bishop has just announced that first, the congregation will hear from a youth speaker. This youth speaker is a teenage boy, and after loping to the stand and reciting some scriptures from his prepared message, he tries to go off-script. But he slips up:

“We’re told to keep the commandments, but sometimes, that’s damn hard.”

What happens next?

Most likely, there will be some turned heads. His parents look horrified. The bishop and his counselors are frowning. You can be sure that after the meeting, he’s going to get a talking-to from church leaders and his parents. Why? Because the word was wrong. Whether he meant to swear or not, Mormons don’t say things like that.

Now imagine the scene again, but it plays out a little differently. The bishop introduces a youth speaker. The youth speaker reads a little from his paper, but again slips as he goes off-script.

“We’re told to keep the commandments, but it’s retarded how hard that is.”

What happens next?

Most of the church-goers don’t bat an eye. If they do notice, they chuckle to themselves at the kid’s lack of tact. But he isn’t getting a talking-to from the bishopric. He isn’t getting the stink-eye from the little old lady on the back row of the chapel.

Why not? Well, simply, because r*tarded isn’t one of the traditional swear words. And if something isn’t a “swear word,” that means it’s okay to say, right?

1 Timothy 4:12 advises us to be “an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.” When Paul says “in word,” he’s not strictly talking about taking the Lord’s name in vain. That’s another sermon for another time. Instead, he’s raising a critical, defining point: regardless of whether we’re using commonly recognized swear words, is our language an “example of the believers?”

Here are four categories of terms which we should abstain from as strictly as we avoid using typical swear words.
Author’s note: I’ve slightly censored words I feel could be conceived as inappropriate language. I think most folks can still figure out what the words are.

Ableist

Using “r*tard” or “r*tarded” is often used to show frustration with a person or situation. While not always used directly to make fun of someone with a handicap, using “r*tard” as shorthand for mockery is demeaning to those who actually experience some form of disability. Boyd K. Packer once said:

“I must say this to parents. It is not unusual for foolish children and some very thoughtless adults to make light of the handicapped. The mimicking or teasing or ridiculing of those with handicaps is cruel. Such an assault can inflict deeper pain than can physical punishment—more painful because it is undeserved. It is my conviction that such brutality will not, in the eternal scheme of things, go unanswered, and there will come a day of recompense.”

Yes, most uses of the word “r*tard” or other ableist terms are not aimed at those who have a disability. But as followers of Christ, we must find a more elevated way to speak that better reflects our religion’s love and respect for all.

Racist

There are members of the Church who use racial slurs. If there weren’t, President Gordon B. Hinckley wouldn’t have needed to address it:

“Racial strife still lifts its ugly head. I am advised that even right here among us there is some of this. I cannot understand how it can be. … I am told that racial slurs and denigrating remarks are sometimes heard among us. I remind you that no [one] who makes disparaging remarks concerning those of another race can consider [themselves] a true disciple of Christ. Nor can [they] consider [themselves] to be in harmony with the teachings of the Church of Christ.”

It’s an unfortunate habit of some members of the Church to use racial slurs or derogatory stereotypes in a joking context. Words like the “N-word,” even when used as a joke, are an echo of casual cruelty toward our fellow human beings. If we truly believe that Jesus Christ saw worth in every human soul, we should seek to show the same worth in our language.

Homophobic

Want to prove that members of the Church are loving towards all? Want to show your kindness and consideration to your neighbors who don’t believe as you do? Ceasing to use “gay” in any derogatory context is a great place to start. To a more serious degree, disparaging usage of “q*eer,” “h*mo,” or “d*ke” is rooted in a hateful, violent attitude towards the LGBTQ community. These words should be treated with as serious revulsion as we Christians can muster. The Church’s mormonandgay.churchofjesuschrist.org says:

“God loves all of us. He loves those of different faiths and those without any faith. He loves those who suffer. He loves the rich and poor alike. He loves people of every race and culture, the married or single, and those who experience same-sex attraction or identify as gay, lesbian, or bisexual. And God expects us to follow His example.”

If we are truly converted to Christ’s gospel, we must demonstrate our testimonies by treating sexual identification with the respect deserved by each of God’s children.

Sexist

This category is perhaps the most numerous and commonly used. Here are some sexist terms or words that denote sexual violence:

• Rape
• Screwed
• Sucks
• Hosed
• Ho
• Whore
• Slut
• Asking for it

There are more—dozens more—but these are a good place to start.

We believe in the worth of each soul. President Uchtdorf said “we are important to God not because of our résumé but because we are His children.” However innocuous we feel they are, terms like “ho” and “slut” define women by their perceived sexual value. Using words like these communicates a disregard for the significance of sexual violence and the objectification of women.

Can you picture the Savior saying that the woman taken in adultery was “asking for it?” Can you imagine President Monson congratulating the BYU football team on “raping” the competition? It’s nauseating. While they may not bump a movie from PG-13 to R, these terms are unbecoming of a people whose Gospel rests on the sanctity of the human spirit and the divine importance of each individual.

No, the groups connected to these words do not need to “get thicker skin.”

No, they do not need to “stop being so sensitive.”

Our Savior treated everyone, even the most disrespected minorities, with the utmost respect and care. He didn’t slander the Samaritans, as was common at the time. He didn’t reject the publicans, though most people would have. His Gospel even extended to the Romans, though they were despised by many of the early Saints.

As in all other things, we must follow Christ’s perfect example. If He was willing to suffer for all sins, even those committed in ignorance, we should be willing—at the bare minimum—to ditch a couple of words we use ignorantly from our vocabulary.

Note: This article does not address reappropriation or reclaimed slurs, nor is it a comprehensive list of all inappropriate categories of speech.