7 Easy Ways to Lose Your Testimony and Leave the Church
Disclaimer: I wrote this article during an episode of angst and frustration towards anonymous individuals attacking the Church online. It’s laced with sarcasm but I hope it conveys an important message about the state of each of our testimonies. It is not meant to marginalize the very real concerns of our friends and family that have left the Church, they deserve our love, respect, sympathy and support. This piece is rather meant to help change our paradigm of our own religion. I myself am guilty of more than one of the subjects addressed here.
So, you’re looking to leave the Church, are ya? Plenty of people seem to be doing it nowadays. It’s become quite the trend. The reasons why people leave vary greatly, but, if you’ve made up your mind, I think I’ve found several tips that will help you find a reason to leave.
First of all, make sure your whole premise of Mormonism is slightly off
Maintain in your mind that in order for Mormonism to be true, the individuals within that organization must be perfect—especially the prophets. Sure, Peter cut a guy’s ear off and then denied knowing Christ himself, three times. Another apostle directly betrayed and turned Christ in to authorities which ultimately led to His torture and crucifixion. Jonah literally tried to run away from his responsibilities. Heck, Noah got drunk and took off all his clothes. But no, the possibility of modern Mormon prophets making bad decisions cannot be an option in your mind if you are to leave Mormonism properly.
And when you do discover mistakes made by modern prophets and apostles, be sure to withhold forgiveness and let those events erode your testimony. Sure, Paul was an accomplice to murder before turning to God, but that was in ancient times. We can forgive him. That was then, this is now.
Additionally, expect that same perfection from the membership. Remove from your mind the thought that, like a gym, LDS churches are full of imperfect people who are trying to improve. When you find that some members are rude, hypocritical, judgmental and arrogant, use that to discredit the whole gospel they’re trying to get better at living.
On that note, when you are personally offended, blame the Church
Sooner a later, a Mormon will offend you. When that happens (it could be on accident or entirely on purpose, it matters very little), make sure to hold a grudge and blame the Church. Focus solely on the isolated offense that individual committed against you, not the gospel of Jesus Christ that is meant to heal it. It’s easy to become offended, and it’s real. It hurts. It shouldn’t happen.
Those that are offended deserve love and sympathy, but if you’re looking to leave the Church make sure you harbor that pain. Nourish it. Allow this event or person to drive a wedge between you and activity in the Church. If forced to choose between a grudge and the everlasting light of the gospel of Jesus Christ, go with the former.
Fester in the realm of the unknown and the weird
Imagine the gospel as a tree. The trunk and the roots are the most important parts. They’re what matters most. They’re what gives the tree life. Faith, repentance, baptism, the Holy Ghost, enduring to the end, the Atonement of Jesus Christ, the plan of salvation, etc. That stuff is the meat of Mormonism. Ignore it.
If you’re going to destroy your testimony, focus on the branches of that tree. Especially the ones missing a few leaves—teachings or events we don’t have all the answers for. Fester on topics like polygamy or why we can’t drink coffee. Think of how ridiculous Joseph Smith looked while he stuck his face in a hat to translate The Book of Mormon.
In order to let the weirdness of Mormonism tear your testimony apart, you may also have to suspend your belief in other widely-held Christian beliefs as well. Weird things like Moses talking to God through a bush, or parting the Red Sea, Abraham’s polygamy or that time when Jesus spit in the dirt, made it into mud and rubbed it on a guy’s eyes to heal his blindness. To put it simply, resolve in your mind that God only accomplishes his purposes within the parameters of logic that you set.
Speaking of which, do all you can to squeeze the square peg of faith into the round hole of science
If God wants some truths to remain in the realm of faith, no amount of science is going to change that. No one will probably ever be able to satisfy the world with hard evidence that The Book of Mormon is true, yet, expect it. When evidence for the reality of The Book of Mormon, various doctrines and God himself doesn’t show up—let that doubt crowd out your faith. I mean, yeah, of course reliance on faith has always been God’s way. He hasn’t changed, but we have. Faith in our day and age is just naiveté. Now we have microscopes and stuff. We’re smarter than the ancients … even though they thought the same thing in their day, but ignore that.
Insist that if science can’t irrefutably prove it, you won’t believe in it. Faith by definition is pretty hard to obtain (not to mention maintain), so this might be a good route for you. I mean, yeah, even scientists admit they only understand about four percent of the universe, which leaves a whole lot of room for faith, but it’s a really solid four percent.
Take things out of context (twist, turn and manipulate meaning and intentions)
The reality is, God has commandments. And where there are rules and morals, there will be people who disagree and who will be offended by them. As such, do all you can to take doctrines, policies, quotes and events out of context. Take things personally and misinterpret intentions. For instance,
Tithing. That one’s easy. “Mormons just want your money. It’s a corporation full of greedy businessmen … that have decided to dedicate their every remaining breath to taking money they’ll never have a retirement to use.”
Thou shalt not kill. “Did you know Mormons think murder is a sin? Jesus said to love everyone. Why do they hate murderers?”
OK, that last one might be a bit of a stretch, but when commandments happen to concern matters of the heart … that’s when things get interesting and it gets easier to misinterpret things. Let’s redo that last example:
The Law of Chastity. “Did you know Mormons think homosexuality is a sin? Jesus said to love everyone. Why do they hate gay people?”
Assume that any disagreement with peoples’ decisions equates to hate towards those people. Of course, the truth is that the Mormon Church does not intentionally teach hate towards anyone. But it’s very easy to take doctrines that prohibit sin and manipulate them into an institutionalized intention to hate the sinner. It’s a fine line the Church has to walk, so if you want to lose your testimony make sure to interpret things as wrongly as you can.
Stop trying
To push the suffering testimony over the edge, simply stop trying. Being a disciple of Christ within the LDS Church takes a massive amount of effort. So, stop reading your scriptures. Stop praying. Stop repenting, forgiving, seeking the Spirit, etc. Life gets busy, just let those daily tasks overwhelm your motivation to nourish your spirit.
Stop trying to receive revelation. Resolve that personal communication with God is impossible. The only way to know the truth of something is to reason through it on your own. Better yet, turn to Google for all your answers.
Ignore Mormonism for what it is
At the end of the day, true or not, Mormonism is a good thing. It tries to help people, in every sense of the word. To overcome addictions, to find peace, to face adversity, to strengthen families, to have faith in God and humanity. It’s a humanitarian superpower to both the world and to individuals. And most importantly, it teaches that becoming a disciple of Jesus Christ and applying His Atonement in our lives will ultimately bring us back to the presence of our Heavenly Father. Mormonism is the vehicle by which we attempt to learn and apply the gospel of Jesus Christ.
I often hear people complain about the repetitiveness of the messages we hear every six months at General Conference. Faith, repentance, baptism, trying your best, yadda yadda yadda. Well, like it or not, that’s what Mormonism really is. Our missionaries are preaching the same thing. Their very purpose is to “Invite others to come unto Christ by helping them receive the restored gospel through faith in Jesus Christ and His Atonement, repentance, baptism, receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost, and enduring to the end.”
And if you’re bent on destroying your testimony and leaving the Church, at some point you’ve got to convince yourself that that’s not true.
