#Getting Married — Where Social Media Fit In

Social media have added an entirely new dimension to the process of getting married (and staying married). Here are some ways social media can make or break a wedding event and a relationship.

Deseret News National Online posted an article called “‘Till online embarrassment do us part: Social media prenups on the rise.” Turns out there’s more to a pre-nup than deciding ahead of time who gets the house if things don’t work out.  “These agreements allow couples to set boundaries on what images and information their partner posts on social media websites such as Facebook, Vine and Instagram….” 

New-York based attorney Ann-Margaret Carroza expects these pre-nup clauses to become more and more important, because once you’ve posted something embarrassing online it’s launched out into world consciousness and can’t be retrieved. “These sort of clauses generally prevent people from posting nude or embarrassing pictures of their spouses, along with information that could negatively impact a person’s professional reputation.” The pre-nup agreements often set a penalty price for transgressing the terms of the contract.

ABC says that 80 percent of divorce attorneys say discussion of social networking is increasingly common in divorce proceedings for a range of reasons, which means we’ll probably be hearing more about prenups like this.

But some see these kinds of negative expectations and disagreements as a symptom that all is not well in the relationships. Sharing sensitive information is not the only social media transgression that can ruin a trusting relationship.  

Spending too much time online or establishing an “avatar relationship” are both dangerous. As an avatar, a person can be anyone he or she wants. A dumpy, middle-aged man can be a macho biker, and a married woman can be single and available. Reality can be well-hidden. Tip: It’s pretty easy to fall in love with an avatar.

#Wedding Etiquette

Social media are playing a growing role in wedding planning.  Couples choose a hashtag to label their event. Save-the-date online invitations can be sent out, and addresses can be gathered through Facebook (always share through a private message).

A new vocation has sprouted for the social media savvy, who can hire themselves out to the bride and groom for a cool several thousand dollars, just to make sure all the bases are covered in the most effective way.  Some recommendations from the professionals:

• Don’t let anyone photograph the wedding dress before the wedding, especially if the bride is in it. Everyone will see it on Facebook.
• Don’t criticize the bride, the groom, or anything about the wedding.  It will show up on Twitter and go viral.
• Post about absolutely everything that goes well. Rave about the food, the decorations, the band, the sweet couple.
• Ask the couple’s permission before you post anything.
• Make sure any photo you take with your cell phone and then post online is flattering. Images create memories.
• Don’t RSVP on Facebook or by text message. Follow the pattern the engaged couple has set.
• Brides and grooms: Don’t post anything online related to honeymoon intimacy.
• Don’t post anything about arguments or disagreements.
• Humor is fine, as long as it’s respectful and everyone is in on the joke.

[quote_box_center]OK, anyone who thinks it’s not cool for a bridesmaid to post a picture of the bride’s gown on Facebook before the wedding, raise your hand. Another article in Deseret News National claimed this has actually happened, and probably more than once. #Wediquette is an evolving set of rules governing the use of social media in wedding prep. This just has to be rule #1.[/quote_box_center]