So You’re in Love with a Mormon Girl: 5 Things to Watch Out For

In a blog post a Mormon guy discussed using that “Mormon Glow” (a scientifically-documented, perceivable phenomenon) to attract members of the opposite sex.  “Mormons,” members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, tend to glow because of their squeaky-clean lifestyle and the Gift of the Holy Ghost, which shines through them.

OK, so you’ve now been attracted to that Mormon glow, and you’re a non-Mormon guy who’s fallen for a Mormon girl.  What can you expect?

First of all, you’ve been attracted to a girl who is glowing for all the right reasons, which means you chose her not because she was wearing black and red skin-tight jeggings from Frederick’s of Hollywood.  Aha!  That’s a clue you might be leaning toward the light yourself.  The Mormon girl has the light of Christ shining through her, and you were drawn in.  Give yourself some credit for being attracted to the good side of the Force.  If you have tended to straddle the line between light and dark in the past, or have been a partier, expect to make some changes for this relationship, and expect certain things from your new crush.

1. The Mormon health law might be her “Word of Wisdom.”

Mormons have a well-known code of health, called the Word of Wisdom.  Committed Mormons don’t drink alcoholic beverages, smoke tobacco, drink coffee or tea, use recreational drugs, or abuse prescription drugs.  Don’t expect to hang out at a bar with your Mormon girlfriend or enjoy parties where alcohol is flowing.  If you do attend parties like that, expect her to drink 7-Up and volunteer as the designated driver, and to be completely repulsed if you drink too much.  That said, Mormons have learned to have fun without alcohol and often have to wait until drinkers are well-oiled and loosened up to join in the dopey-ness.  Drinkers tend to rely on drink before they can have fun.  Mormons can be pretty crazy without it.  Your crush might put a lampshade on her head and call it innocent fun.

2.  Mormons have a jargon all their own.

Maybe you do, too.  All faiths have vocabulary unique to them.  If your crush has been Mormon all her life, she might hum Primary songs from her years in that children’s organization and use some acronyms you’ve never heard, like CTR for Choose the Right (is she wearing a CTR ring?); or MTC for missionary training center.  Just go ahead and ask for the definitions and treat it like learning a new language.

3.  Many Mormons come from large families.

Does your new girlfriend have eight brothers and sisters?  Actually, Mormon families are shrinking, just like those outside the Church, but they will always be larger than families outside Mormondom.  Mormons are extremely family oriented, and if your girlfriend takes you home to meet Mom and Dad, you will be expected to “fit in” and enjoy massively-attended family events from game night to extended family get-togethers, crawling with toddlers and little kids – about five of them to every mom present.  Your crush will watch you closely to see how you interact with these little ones.  Even Mormon girls who marry non-Mormons want great dads for their kids, and they are oriented to having kids, sometimes many kids.  It would behoove you in this situation to act like a kid yourself.  Better than freezing up and avoiding them altogether.

4.  Mormons follow a “Law of Chastity.”

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints teaches that all sexual relationships outside of marriage (defined as the legal union between a man and a woman) are sinful.  If your date has been an active member of the Church who is following these moral guidelines, then she will not be willing to involve herself in a sexual relationship with you.  She will be oh-so-grateful if you do not pressure her to discard those values.  If you do end up having sexual relations, she will feel guilty, and it will affect your relationship, you can count on that.  She may decide to repent while the relationship is still going, and that will be a tough experience for both of you and may doom the relationship, while she moves ahead spiritually and sets her “sinful” past behind her, you included.  Discover the joys of a non-sexual relationship and find sincere ways to show affection without sex.  It’s not only possible, it’s much more fun.  Sexuality is the enemy of romance, and romance is amazing.

5.  You will be expected to give the gospel a chance.

If the restored gospel of Jesus Christ is important to your girlfriend, you’d better learn about it.  Mormons who marry other Mormons in Mormon temples have a 6.5% divorce rate.  Pretty darn good.  But Mormons who marry outside the faith have around a 40% divorce rate.  Terrible.  If a Mormon marries outside the faith, it’s always best to have a spouse who is supportive.  You’d better learn up front what that means.  Mormonism has a lay clergy, so everyone serves in the Church.  Your Mormon wife will always have something to do outside the home in the way of church service, and you shouldn’t beef about that, but instead be encouraging.  A Mormon wife will also want to bring the kids along, and that should be discussed and decided before marriage and before kids.  Harmony will prevail if the husband appreciates the value of church service and attendance.  Take the missionary lessons, read the Book of Mormon and the Bible.  Learn all you can.  Pray about it.  If you don’t receive a spiritual experience leading you to convert, then make sure you do receive a confirmation that Mormonism is more than harmless, it’s beneficial and soul-nourishing, so you can be a pleasant, affirming companion.

But what if your girlfriend is Mormon, but not active in the Church?  She might not even be living according to the moral standards of the Church.  She might not be keeping the Word of Wisdom, living according to the Law of Chastity, or attending church regularly.  Then, do any of the above morsels of advice matter?  Yes, they do.  We are all God’s children having an earthly experience.  That means that we are always changing and growing.  Many, many lapsed Mormons catch the true vision of the gospel at some time in their lives and desire to repent and become observant again.  This is wonderful and in accordance with the desires of a loving Father in Heaven, but it can turn a marriage on its ear, if the spouse is unprepared.  You should take all of the above advice to heart and follow it just in case, so you can make a smooth transition should it ever be necessary.

Mormon girls are the best, and you are pretty lucky.  Do whatever it takes to at least learn from your relationship with your Mormon crush.  You’ll be glad you did.  As a matter of fact, you can begin here.