Well, Is He Gay or Isn’t He? TLC Wants You To Know
Title possibilities:
Well, Is He Gay or Isn’t He? TLC Wants You To Know
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TLC cable station, known for offerings that satisfy schadenfreude longings and base curiosity, has announced that it will air a special on Mormon men with same-sex attraction who have married women. The clip announcing the show, “My Husband’s Not Gay” begins by saying that, “In Salt Lake City, there is a group of Mormons who live their lives a little differently.” It is good copy that is culturally appropriate for the general viewership of TLC who will think, “Salt Lake City means Mormon which is already different (weird). Can’t wait to see what weird on weird looks like.”
The announcement received swift condemnation from several gay organizations and has caused discomfort in several members of the church. GLAAD (Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation) http://www.glaad.org/blog/more-70000-call-tlc-cancel-my-husbands-not-gay and Change.org https://www.change.org/p/tlc-cancel-your-upcoming-tv-show-my-husband-s-not-gay?utm_source=social_media&utm_medium=twitter&utm_campaign=us have emphasized their concern over the airing to the point of gathering over 70,000 signatures in protest. The reason for the protest is captured in a statement by GLAAD President, Sarah Kate Ellis, “No one can change who they love, and, more importantly, no one should have to.”
I actually agree with the second part of the statement. I also agree with the hope that TLC will cancel the show. The first claim, however is problematic. The claim that no one can change who they love and therefore there is no choice in love sounds appropriate coming from consumers of fairy tale fantasy, but in the real world, love expression is a trade-off regardless of sexual preferences.
As far as I can tell, the men in the TLC special have considered the specific trade-off of giving full sexual expression to their attraction to other men and what they believe are eternal, divinely appointed principles. Some bloggers, like Jana Riess on her blog “Flunking Sainthood” have suggested that the choice is a “dubious solution” and that mormon discomfort from the show will “stem from a sinking realization that these couples’ lives—and, more sadly, their children’s—are constructed on a cracked foundation.” http://janariess.religionnews.com/2015/01/05/protests-mount-mormon-themed-tlc-program-husbands-not-gay/#sthash.0BkC1kKy.dpuf
I am not clear on what is dubious or what the cracked foundation might be. For example, I have a hard time finding foundational cracks and dubiousness in Mormon blogger Josh Weed’s coming “out of the closet.” post from 2012, where he explains that though he has same sex attraction, he chose to marry a woman, http://www.joshweed.com/2012/06/club-unicorn-in-which-i-come-out-of.html Weed discussed the trade-off for him, between sexual expression in a homosexual relationship and his convictions to the restored gospel as follows,
Deciding not to give this up–these profound spiritual beliefs that I feel in the deepest parts of my soul to be true–in favor of my sexual orientation required a great deal of faith, but I can honestly say that, for me, it has been completely worth it. I have not regretted the decision one day of my life. My life is filled with so much genuine, real, vibrant joy that I would be remiss if I didn’t thank God for blessing me for my obedience and adherence to His guidelines as I understand them. I love the Gospel of Jesus Christ as well as the Mormon Church, which I consider to be His restored organizational unit. I did not want to give that up.
Church spokesman, Eric Hawkins, commented http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/church-responds-to-questions-regarding-upcoming-tlc-program yesterday on the TLC program,
“The decision for a woman and man to marry is deeply personal. While the Church does not promote marriage as a treatment method for same sex attraction, couples who are trying to be lovingly supportive of each other while being true to their religious convictions deserve our support and respect.”
I sincerely hope that the couples that have opted for a fishbowl type experience find peace in the tradeoff of money for exposé. I also hope beyond realistic hope that all people will opt for a good Dostoyevsky novel over TLC entertainment options.